literature

doctors

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andrewpom's avatar
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Literature Text

so she looks at me like i’m bloody nothing to nobody
and she says to me, she says to me
“what’s making you feel like this then andrew?”
not even a glimmer in her eye, not even a glimmer
– although there is neither one in mine –
and so i tell her, anyway. i tell her about the stress,
about the sickliness of it all,
about the feelings of being strewn like
being strewn in a valley by some cold black
claws in some cold black
clouds where beyond there’s nothing at all. nothing.
but she gets this everyday. everyday in her chair in her office
and she’s never felt it, has she?
she’s never felt the feeling herself. like describing a colour to a blind person.

–i mean,
she puts me down for therapy
but she’s showing me the finger as she scribbles down her signature.

and so never again
did i sit in that chair.
i was talking to this girl i like, and for whatever reason i had this memory while talking to her of the first time i went to my gp for depression. and i remember seeing the look on the gp's face and thinking how inadequate my reasons for being depressed were.

...i tell you, the thing is with really beautiful girls, is that they're always giving you memories like that.
Comments40
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DailyBreadCafe's avatar
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star-empty::star-empty::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Impact

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Hey, I was pleasantly surprised by this piece. I normally think that pieces about depression are generic and clichéd and if i'm honest, this is to an extent. It's not all that original, but I think this piece has a strong voice and style which is what saves it.

The repetitiveness and informality is done really well. There's just enough. Not too much to make it annoying, but just enough to make it seem really direct and allow the reader to feel the frustration that's captured inside the piece.

I'm not quite sure why you don't use capital letters, but it isn't the worst thing in the world.